In this episode of Moment to Moment, Coach Pia sits down with multi-talented actress, writer, and director Bela Padilla to discuss the concept of healing through forgiveness, intentionally living with courage, and the importance of making space for new beginnings.
Key Takeaways:
Reframing Forgiveness: Bela shares that forgiveness does not always have to be a loud, dramatic event or a major family meeting. It can be a quiet, everyday practice, which includes the simple act of forgiving yourself for small mistakes or for not achieving certain things in your current season of life [00:03:17].
Letting Go of Revenge: Growing up, Bela’s mother taught her never to seek revenge but to let God even the scales. This foundation allowed her to easily let go of anger and forgive people without ever needing to ask them for an apology or accountability [00:04:46].
The Physical Toll of Holding On: Keeping grudges and leaving feelings unaddressed can cause physical and emotional stagnation. Bela recalls a time living in London where unaddressed family tensions caused her to overthink, lose sleep, and even experience physical swelling, which only dissipated when she and her brother finally opened up to each other [00:08:49].
Making Room for New Stories: Forgiveness is essential because it allows you to close the chapter on old, painful stories and make space for new ones. After letting go of her hidden burdens, Bela and her brother were both able to find new hobbies, try new things, and experience a “second wind” in their lives [00:16:08].
Persistence and Reclaiming Dreams: Bela opened up about a 6 to 7-year journey of trying to land a role in the remake of her favorite Korean film, A Special Memory. Despite being turned down multiple times, she persistently threw her hat in the ring and ultimately secured the role, choosing to forgive the people who initially told her she couldn’t do it [00:18:23].
Intentional Courage: The pandemic served as a catalyst for Bela to step out of her comfort zone. Facing immense hurdles and changing restrictions, she flew to Turkey alone and directed her own film, pushing herself to practice intentional courage [00:23:42].
Finding Your Own Closure: When dealing with breakups or fallout, Bela believes that you do not need to wait for the other person to give you closure. You can create that closure internally and take back the vulnerability you initially exposed [00:33:56].
The “Labor” of Healing: Healing isn’t passive; it requires real effort and labor. Interestingly, Bela notes that she is actually much better at doing the deep, introspective work of healing on days when she is in a good mood, rather than when she is triggered or in a “fight or flight” response [00:34:41].
A Message to Her Younger Self: Looking back at her journey, Bela is incredibly proud of her younger self for entering the industry and carving out her own mold as a creator, actress, and director when no traditional template was handed to her [00:38:07].